


Dear Scott

by DemonzDust



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 4th Grade, Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Crushes, Deleted Scenes, Falling In Love, Good Theo Raeken, Letters, M/M, Secret Crush, Young Scott McCall (Teen Wolf)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonzDust/pseuds/DemonzDust
Summary: In a dusty shoebox tucked into the back corner of Scott’s closet there’s a box of letters from his secret grade school crush.
Relationships: Scott McCall/Theo Raeken
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37
Collections: Sceo Week 2020





	1. Prologue - The Box

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try something a little different with this story so most of the fic will be in the form of letters or other written communication. I don’t really know how I feel about it, but hey, I gave it a shot. 
> 
> I've actually lost my internet and cell service due to a storm so I'm posting this one super rushed. I was planning to post the next part of this tomorrow, but we'll see if my internet allows for that.
> 
> This one is for Sceo Week 2020!

Scott couldn't get the image out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. Maybe it was just that it had caught him off guard. Maybe it was that he hadn’t been ready to see Theo like that again. Seeming so normal. So mundane. The way he looked as he casually perused the contents of a library book. How the fine lines of his perfectly manicured eyebrows arched in feigned surprise as Scott had addressed him. 

It was hard to see Theo that way. Much harder than it had been to listen to him vaguely threatening Stiles. Or to see him in the Dread Doctors tunnels, parading his new chimera “pack” before them. Seeing Theo in those instances had been difficult, but not nearly as painful as seeing him behave pseudo-normal had been.

“ _Fuck_.” Scott swears as he knocks his head on the top shelf in his closet.

He rubs his head and takes a step back, silently berating himself for letting himself become so distracted. By Theo. _Again_. He knew he needed to focus. There was no way they were going to get Lydia out of Eichen if his mind and body weren’t one hundred percent where it needed to be.

He went back to digging through his closet, searching for something that would be suitable to wear in a body bag. What that article of clothing might be, Scott had no clue. Something breathable and lightweight he supposed...he’d know it when he saw it.

But as he continued to ransack his closet the image of Theo continued to burn in his mind’s eye. The lilting smooth sound of his voice haunting his ears.

 _Why_ couldn’t Scott let it go?

It would be much easier if Theo could just continue to behave like the villain he’d proven himself to be. If he didn’t keep _looking_ at Scott in the way that evoked so many — now painful — memories of what it had been like to think that Theo had returned to Beacon Hills to join his pack.

He was still berating himself when the corner of a faded red cardboard box, buried under a pile of old sports equipment, caught his eye.

His fingers froze. He hadn’t touched that box in years, yet he knew exactly what it’s contents held. Notes from only a few years back — yet several lifetimes ago. He’d thought about that box when Theo had first come back to Beacon Hills. Thought about opening it and sifting through it, remembering the events of that year in their entirety.

He hadn’t because it didn’t feel right for a lot of reasons. The thought of looking through it now _still_ didn’t feel right, yet Scott found himself rummaging through the dusty lacrosse pads he’d outgrown and the skateboard with peeling pop punk stickers a broken wheel out of the closet to get at it.

The box itself was smaller than he remembered. It would hardly be able to fit a pair of his shoes now. It’s sides were bent and it’s once glossy color had faded. He didn’t remember the shoes that the box had come with, but he remembered the day he decided to repurpose it.

When he had it in his hands he could feel the chemosignals of the last boy that had touched it. Himself, but back when he was human. Finding a place to hide things he couldn’t look at but also couldn’t bare to throw away.

He sighed and sat down on the floor, the box in his lap.

He probably _shouldn’t_ open it.

It likely wouldn’t help him understand anything about Theo or the Dread Doctors or the Beast. It wouldn’t hold any clues or trigger any memories with important information. He wasn’t so foolish as to think that it would.

All this box held was his feelings about a person he’d known a long time ago. A person that didn’t seem to exist anymore — if he had ever existed at all.

Scott’s fingers tightened on the weak cardboard. It would be better if he could stuff it back in the coroner of the closet where it belonged and just focus on the task at hand, but he knew that he couldn’t.

Theo was an open wound, still. One that he had to conceal from his friends as well as his enemies. He hadn’t even fully brought his pack back together yet. They were all still raw and hurt by how expertly Theo had pulled the wool over his eyes.

If he told Stiles that he was broken up _about_ Theo now? He’s not sure their friendship could survive it. Maybe one day, when this was long in the past, Scott would be able to confide in him. But certainly not now.

Scott pulled the lid off the box, resolving himself.

He _had_ to do this now. He couldn’t pretend the wound didn’t exist and let it distract him from helping his pack. He needed to face this, and he needed to face it alone.

He reached into the box and retrieved the folded up bits of notebook paper. Opened up the first one. It was covered in bits of his messy fourth grade handwriting, and Theo’s, slightly more practiced penmanship. A page that they’d passed back and forth in class each time their teacher had turned her back.

Cell phones had been more expensive back then, and while Theo’s family could afford him one, Scott’s could not. That had been a source of embarrassment for Scott at that time, constantly left out while others exchanged contact information and learned to send texts by punching numbers into their flip phones.

He remembered how embarrassed he’d been when Theo first asked for Scott’s number and he’d had to tell him that he didn’t have one. But Theo had shrugged it off easily, and gave him his instant messenger name instead.

At school they’d passed notes. In class or between classes, sometimes slipping a bit of paper into one another’s locker. There was something...kind of fun about it, Scott remembered. He’d liked looking at Theo’s writing, even if it made his look a little sloppy next to it. Theo had a very specific way he looped the end of a “y” or a “g” and he would have never gotten to see that if they’d been exchanging texts.

Even as he looked at it, so many years later, it was hard not to feel the ghost of the tugging sensation in his chest as he looked down at Theo’s fourth grade notes to him...


	2. The Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Sceo Week Day #5

**_The Notes_ **

_Hey, sorry I broke your skateboard. I swear I’ll get you a new one as soon as I get my allowance. I know that you probably won’t be able to get the Superman sticker off your old one, but I’ve got a foil Fall Out Boy and some All Time Low stickers that they were giving out at the skate shop. Do you want those?  
_ _— Theo_

 _Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault it got broken. I’m more worried that you got hurt._ _How’s your wrist? I do really like Fall Out Boy, but I’ve never heard of All Time Low, are they good?  
__— Scott  
_

_My wrist is okay, the doctor’s say it’s only a sprain and it’ll heal in a few weeks. It’s my right hand so I can still do most things, but my teachers haven’t realized I’m left handed so I’ve gotten out of a bunch of assignments hahaha…. But yeah, I can’t play video games so that really blows._ _All Time Low is one of my FAVORITE bands! You have to listen to them. Do you wanna swap ipods tonight and I’ll download it for you?  
__—Theo_

 _Wish I could but I kinda don’t have an ipod. I can just go look them up though. What songs should I listen to?_ _  
— Scott_

 _I’ll make you a list!  
_ _—Theo_

The list Theo had made him was in the box as well. Scribbled on a faded bit of lined paper that Theo’d ripped from his composition book. _The blue and black one._ Scott remembered in a vivid flash of detail. Theo’s fingers curled around its edges, drawing it out of his backpack before each first period.

He couldn’t recall for the life of him what subject the class had taught. But he remembered that notebook like it was yesterday.

He’d found all of the songs on YouTube and listened to them with the volume as loud as it would go. His earphones were old and crackled in one year, but they were enough to block out the sound of raised voices and breaking dishes from downstairs.

Sounds that had been so common of an occurrence back then that he’d hardly noticed them.

The next set of notes were on varied bits of scrap paper. As Scott sorted through them, he began to identify which pages had been torn from Theo’s notebook and which had been from his own based on the fading color of the lines and the way the edges frayed differently.

He could see how his own handwriting had evolved over the course of them. See where he’d been rushed and where he’d been able to take his time. Theo’s penmanship remained fairly consistent, but the content of the notes themselves blossomed deeper with each page.

_I really liked the songs, were they all by the same band? The guy singing sounded kinda different in the later tracks. Also, I feel bad that you can’t play video games. Do you maybe want to come watch movies at my house sometime this week? Mom says it’s okay.  
_ _—Scott_

 _Thanks for letting me hang out the other night. I’m sorry your Dad got so pissed off. Was everything okay after I went home? You know you can always come over to my place if you want to, my parents are hardly ever there and when they are, they don’t check up on me.  
_ _—Theo_

 _I’m really sorry about my Dad, he’s kind of a major jerk. I understand if you don’t want to come over anymore. I know he can get scary.  
_ _—Scott_

 _Scott, you don’t have to apologize, and I’m not scared to come over. I get it. My parents suck too. They’re going to be away for the weekend and they’re leaving Tara and me money for take out. But I’m pretty sure she’s going to her boyfriend’s house the whole time anyway. Do you think you’d want to come stay over?  
_ _— Theo_

_Dear Theo,_

_I really want to, but my Dad is being a total asshole. He and mom had a fight and he doesn’t want me coming over. I’m sorry. I really,_ really _want to. Hanging out with you for the weekend with no parents sounds really fun. Can you invite someone else? I won’t feel bad. I don’t want you to be all alone just because my Dad is acting super weird about this.  
__—Scott_

 _Dear Scott,  
_  
_It’s no big deal, I’m alone all the time. I don’t want to invite someone else. Is your Dad saying you can’t leave the house? Or is he saying you can’t see me specifically?  
_ _—Theo_

_Dear Theo,_

_He says you specifically. I have no idea why. He’s being such an asshat. Sometimes I just...I don’t know I just hate him. I know I shouldn’t because he’s my dad, but he’s horrible and he just seems like he gets worse and worse every day. I hate the way he is to Mom and now he doesn’t like you? I can’t stand this. You didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t know what to do. Can you meet me at lunch?  
_ _— Scott_

_Dear Scott,_

_If he’ll let you go over to a friend’s house but not mine...can’t you just tell him you’re going somewhere else? Like not telling you to lie if you don’t want to but it sounds like he’s just being a douche for no reason so like...fuck him? See you at lunch.  
_ _— Theo_

_Dear Theo,_

_It worked! Mom’s going to drive me to Danny’s house and I’ll walk to yours from there. I’m kinda nervous she might call to check up on me though. I guess it’s worth it even if we get caught. Can’t wait till the weekend, this is gonna be super fun.  
_ _— Scott_

_Dear Scott,_

_Don’t worry about it, Danny’s older sister will answer the phone and cover for us. Tara pretends to visit their house when she’s actually staying with her boyfriend and Dan says he can get her to do the same if I do his English homework. We won’t get caught. Trust me.  
_ _— Theo_

The energy that vibrated on each hand-written page, the excitement, it was easy to get wrapped up in. To forget, when reading them and feeling the chemosignals that still lingered on them, where he was and why he was doing this.

Scott could picture Theo, his soft tousled hair and the tiny pinch in the corner of his mouth when he smirked. The way their fingers would brush as they exchanged the notes under the desk. The thrill of excitement that ran through him each and every time it did.

It was tempting to want to slip back into that time. When his biggest problems were his parents inevitable divorce and his father’s drinking.

The next page, however, had a very different feeling attached to them. It was the page they’d passed to one another in English the morning after their secret sleepover.

_Sorry.  
_ _—Theo_

 _Sorry? What are you sorry about?  
_ _—Scott_

 _I don’t know. For being weird.  
_ _—Theo_

 _Theo you’re not weird. Why are you saying that?  
_ _—Scott_

 _The way you left on Sunday. Whatever I did I’m sorry, okay?  
_ _—Theo_

 _Theo, seriously you didn’t do anything. I’m sorry if I was weird when I left. It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.  
_ _—Scott_

 _Was it what I said when we were falling asleep? I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just messing around, you know? I won’t say anything like that again. I don’t want things to be weird between us. Please, you’re like my best friend.  
_ _—Theo_

_Theo, no! I don’t even remember what you said when we were falling asleep. I’m really REALLY sorry I made you think you did something wrong. I was just nervous about lying to my parents and worried I’d get caught. I’d do it again though, it was totally worth it. You’re worth it. Okay? I never meant to make you this upset. I’m so so sorry. Meet me at lunch? Please?  
—Scott_

_ok.  
_ _—Theo_

Scott squeezed the page in his hand. It was, if possible, even more painful reading Theo’s words now than it had been back then. Seeing how Theo’s letters were scrawled much looser than usual. How his pencil must have been shaking when he’d written the later messages.

Scott had been lying. He was worried about getting caught, but only a little bit. That hadn’t been the source of awkwardness the morning he’d left. What had been the cause was something smaller and more, in retrospect, innocent.

They had stayed up most the night playing video games and fallen asleep on the sofa together. It had felt right. Safe. Easy and natural. Theo’s house, which was normally so cold and empty, had felt quiet, warm, and private with just the two of them in it.

He _did_ remember what Theo had said to him. 

It had been right after Scott had dealt him a crushing defeat in a racing game. Theo’d dropped his controller into his lap and let his head fall on Scott’s shoulder. Laughing at just how badly he’d messed up.

_“You smell good.”_

Scott had been comfortable and sleepy in that moment and hadn't really thought anything of it...other than noticing the fact that Theo smelled nice too. And that the unguarded weight of Theo’s head on Scott’s shoulder…also felt nice.

They’d crawled onto the sofa after that. Slept with their heads resting on opposite ends, their feet tangled together in the middle. None of it had felt wrong.

He’d felt sad when it came time to leave the next morning. He knew he’d see Theo the very next day, but he was still sad. He packed up his bag and met Theo in the kitchen to hug him goodbye. It was something they did regularly. But that time it had been different.

It wasn’t a quick squeeze or a slap on the back. This one had been longer. With no eyes watching them and no one to break them apart Theo had reached his arms around Scott’s neck, and clung to him. Scott’s arms circled Theo’s waist. He could tell Theo’s eyes were closed from the way his body softened as he exhaled, like he was soaking in every moment of it. Scott found himself squeezing Theo’s waist tighter, vaguely aware of the face that Theo’s face was moving closer and closer to his neck. Till his nose pressed into his throat and he felt Theo’s breath rolling down his skin. 

Goosebumps crested up the back of his neck, and suddenly his mind was spinning off into directions that it had never gone before. Thinking thoughts that he wasn’t sure he was _allowed_ to think.

He thought about how strange his father had been acting about Theo. About how he disliked them spending time together. Made them keep the door open when they’d been in his bedroom. How his eyes had narrowed at the way they’d sat together on the sofa while watching movies.

And what had felt so right, so natural, so _perfect_ only a few moments ago now felt terrifying. He felt sick and was suddenly in a rush to leave. 

He muttered something about having to get to Danny’s before his mom showed up and broke away. He hadn’t even registered the horrified and heartbroken look in Theo’s eyes as he’d turned away. Had barely even noticed the pleading tremor in his voice when he said “See you tomor—” before cutting him off with a sudden. “Yeah, see ya.”

Scott’s blood began to boil as the visceral sensations of the memory flooded him. He was furious. Not at Theo or himself — _they_ had done nothing wrong. But his father, and the unspoken judgement in his actions, had made Scott think that he had.

Now Scott knew that there had been nothing wrong with what he’d started to feel for Theo, but back then? Back then it had been harder. He had his father to blame for that. He wasn’t even sure if it was simply that Rafael had thought Scott was too young to be exploring those kinds of feelings or if it was..for an even _more_ enraging reason.

He’d mended things with Theo quickly and they went on pretending as if nothing had happened. It had been easy because nothing actually _had_ happened. To this day, Scott still wasn’t really sure if Theo had been interested in him the same way he’d been interested in Theo. 

Theo might just have been lonely. Touch and attention starved. With parents that wouldn’t give him the time of day and a sister that had once been close but had slowly drifted away from him as she grew older. Parents that would miscommunicate about whose turn it was to pick him up and leave him stranded after school for hours. Parents who hardly ever showed up in a reasonable amount of time when their son had an asthma attack.

Theo might not have fantasized about tackling Scott in a game of kiss tag like Scott had thought about tackling him. He probably hadn’t stayed up at night, looking at the way Scott looped the bottom of those “y”s and “g”s. Or caught himself staring at the way Scott’s lips moved when he spoke and then felt terribly guilty about it afterwards.

Or maybe Theo did, but had chosen to hide it after the way Scott acted that morning after their sleepover.

There were more notes in the box, and, after his momentary flash of anger about his father, Scott found himself pouring through them again.

He and Theo had recovered from the awkwardness of that morning fairly quickly, and their notes went back to talking about bands, skating, and television shows. They talked about their families and their other friends.

Scott could remember feeling increasingly guilty as they shared more intimate secrets with one another, when all the while he was harboring the deep secret from Theo about how he felt. As time went on, he found himself wondering more and more if Theo was secretly feeling the same way.

He thought about telling him _so many_ times in the months that followed that one awkward morning in Theo’s kitchen. But he’d never found the courage.

As Scott sifted through the later messages in the box, however, he began to notice another shift in them.

_Hey you look really tired today. Is everything okay?  
_ _—Scott_

 _Yeah. Just more of the same shit.  
_ _—Theo_

 _More nightmares?  
_ _—Scott_

 _Basically.  
_ _—Theo_

 _Do you wanna tell me what they’re about?  
_ _—Scott_

 _No.  
_ _—Theo_

That was when Theo had started drifting away from him. The notes became fewer and farther in between. Scott could remember becoming increasingly worried about him. Theo started missing classes. He didn’t always answer notes that Scott left in his locker.

Scott knew he was getting closer and closer to the last one. The one that he dreaded reading most of all. He read them slower and more painfully, until there was only one folded up bit of paper left lying at the bottom of the box.

As he reached for it there was a sudden and sharp rapping at the door.

“Hey,” Stiles poked his head in, and Scott’s hand froze over the box. “You ready?”

“Y-yeah.” Scott said, quickly scooping up the bits of paper and stuffing them back into the box. “Yeah, I’ll be right down.”

“What are you working on?” Stiles asked, squinting at the box as Scott moved back towards his closet and stuffed it up on a shelf.

“Nothing.” Scott said, grabbing a jacket and shutting the closet door. “Let’s go get Lydia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet situation is still screwed up and still need to finish writing the last chapter (and maybe an epilogue?) but I'm hoping I'll be able to get it up tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive comments and feedback is always very much appreciated!


End file.
